The Call

A year ago today ... Mom returned his call.  I can imagine that the conversation was very awkward for both of them.  It must have been very difficult to choose the words to begin such a conversation.  I'm really not sure about many details of this conversation, with the exception of a few important details:

1.  Mom had my best interest at heart when she contacted this man without me knowing.  There is never any way to know how someone might respond to something like this.  What if he said "you are NUTS lady" or "don't ever contact me again" or any number of things that would have indicated that he was not interested in a kid!!!  She was intent on ensuring my safety and I will always be appreciative to her for that.   I didn't know that she had contacted this man, and I didn't need to know if he was going to be unkind to me.  I really am thankful for her heart in that decision.

2.  Neither of them had a clear recollection of "the night in question".  He said that Mom had too many details correct in her email for him not to be curious.  He never had children of his own, more out of circumstance than choice.  His wife, Becky, shared her two awesome kids with him ... but they were grown adults when Dad and Becky married.

3.  The Man on the other end of the phone line was very kind to My Mom.  I can imagine that she was incredibly nervous, and that she apologized many times for the unique nature of the call.  He never once responded with anger or resentment, only grace and curiosity.

4.  When Mom asked what he wanted to do about the situation, he consistently repeated that the decision was up to me.  If I wanted to meet him and talk to him, then he was okay with that.  If I wanted to forget this ever happened and move on with my life, he was okay with that.  If I wanted a relationship that was anywhere in between that continuum, then he was okay with that too.  Mom said that she tried in many different ways to gauge his feelings about the direction that preferred to take ... every single time he put my wants, desires and feelings first.

5.  Mom hung up the phone with a feeling that he was hesitantly excited about what the future might bring.  He had ended the call by saying, "If nothing else, I've gained a new friend in life."  That still makes me smile!!!

After a few hours, Mom sent another Facebook message:

Hello. I've copied my husband on this email, I'm sure you don't mind. I accepted your FB friend request lastnight, posted some pictures to my wall, and tagged you on a few for you to see photos of Crystal. I have made arrangements to meet Crystal at the park on Saturday morning for breakfast and a walk. I'll talk to her then and let you know how things went. Crystal is a deep thinker. She will likely be very upset for a week or two - talk to her husband, and then start processing. It's a precarious place for us all to be in.  Thank you for your kindness.  Donna~

Mom and I ended up talking about everything before Saturday arrived ... more on that tomorrow. :-)